=Jezirah

next kiriban: 33,333 pvs

.:some thoughts about life:.

Journal Entry: Sat Aug 2, 2008, 12:53 PM

~
_{somehow i feel stupid.
like some stupid little girl that thought it
would be so intelligent.

there were so many people whom i have told what
to do, how to do better, how they could solve
their problems.
but it was myself to whom i have told this -
without knowing actually how it really looks
inside the others.

i often think i know what i'm talking about but
the fact is i don't.

i always see the others how strong they are, so
much better, so much more secure or i don't even
see them at all.

but others are beings just like me.
they have their own problems just like me.

but have i ever actually listened truely to what they say?
have you?

we humans are searching after stuff all the time,
pretending to have everything under control.
but the fact is we just can't have anything
under control.
and that's our fear.

to be comitted, powerless, the great unknown -
even in oneself.
we're frightened of ourselves.
so we have to control ourselves almost all the time.

everyone is born alone and stays alone in life.
otherwise there wouldn't be a you and a me.
one has to find security in oneself.

we always search this security in the outside,
in other people, in being adored and loved by
others, in their acceptance. that's only human.
but it doesn't work. i know that.

if you're famous or popular it gives you the
feeling, that you aren't short-lived, fading...
but we all are.
almost every day i awake in the consciousness
that i will die some day, that i will wither.
i just can't imagine it, but it's true.
i can't understand it. because i feel endless.
and it seems to make no sense for me.
it scares me so much.

i always ask myself how others do this and that,
why they seem so strong, so selfconfident.
how they reach their goals.
they seem to have it very easy in life.
but i guess it isn't so.
others are also scared, they also fight.

life is grand and superior.
i have some damn respect of it.
it's indescribable, inapprehensible,
uncontrollable.
even if we are searching for explanations,
principles and believe to have found them.

that's why i feel somehow connected to other
humans for such a long time.
because we're all in the same boat.

only now i have recognized that i have to find
my own way.
i knew this before but didn't know what this
really meant.
i'm alone with myself in this life and i alone
decide what i do as long as the circumstances
allow it.

others who do stuff i'd like to do are also
scared but they just do it that's the difference.
i always thought those people wouldn't be scared
that's why i hated life.
i always asked myself how they know what to do
in certain situations and why i don't.
the truth is they don't know either, they just
try out or have made their own experiences.
they let loose. they make mistakes and learn
from them.

one is allowed to be fallible.

those words seem to be artful but the fact is
they don't solve our problems.
the problems in ourselves when we don't
understand ourselves or are afraid.

that's why one shouldn't judge others.
everyone is different and it's often very
hard to understand, to comprehend.
everyone's like a small universe and that's why
it is so hard to communicate.

everything's short-lived, everything follows
it's own flow.
we humans try to find those laws, we operate
for clutching on something, for reaching halt.
the fear droves us, that something on the
outside controlls us. it is so.
but this is no weakness.
the weaker you are the stronger you must be to
bear this weakness.
the others are not different from me even if it
seems, even if they seem to glitter and sparkle.

that's why i hate when people judge each other.
how can they? how dare they?
isn't it cool that we are all different?
with different minds, style, experiences?

yeah, there are always things i like or don't
like on others.
but that's some diffenrence. this doesn't give
me the right to judge them.}
~
_{it's not that easy to talk that freely.
but i think it is important to share.}

59 Comments

Mood: Artistic
Listening to: why so serious?
Reading: packungsbeilage[n]
Eating: soba
Drinking: -blue air-

Devious Comments

love 1 1

~~joy 0 0~~

~~wow 0 0~~

~~mad 0 0~~

sad 1 1

~~fear 0 0~~

~~neutral 0 0~~

~IIID-Empire

Aug 2, 2008, 12:55:45 PM

_{that was beautiful.}

--
_{'Give me sweet lies, and keep your bitter truths.'
Tyrion Lannister.}

=Jezirah

Aug 2, 2008, 12:59:02 PM

thanx so much for reading it.
means a lot to me.

--
.:rOcK ★ pOrN:.

*unBeautifulCreature

Aug 2, 2008, 1:00:18 PM

ich hab dir n antwort-comment geschrieben, aber hätt ich das hier vorher gesehn, hätt ich ihn hierhin gepostet... |D;

--
"Mein Körper ist am Ende, meine Seele, sie bricht aus,
Ich weiß, aus diesem Kreislauf komm ich nicht lebend raus."

(Samsas Traum)

~IIID-Empire

Aug 2, 2008, 1:02:49 PM

_{I like to read whatever my watchers update^^}

--
_{'Give me sweet lies, and keep your bitter truths.'
Tyrion Lannister.}

=Jezirah

Aug 2, 2008, 1:02:49 PM

xD ich hab's ja grad erst geschrieben! xD
also tröst ich dich

<333

--
.:rOcK ★ pOrN:.

*unBeautifulCreature

Aug 2, 2008, 1:04:17 PM

so und jetz grad hab ichs gelesen. ^^ meine antwort steht halt in der antwort zu dem anderen kommentar. XD;

--
"Mein Körper ist am Ende, meine Seele, sie bricht aus,
Ich weiß, aus diesem Kreislauf komm ich nicht lebend raus."

(Samsas Traum)

=Jezirah

Aug 2, 2008, 1:11:56 PM

und ich hab auch schon geantwortet xDDD
Danke nochmal!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

--
.:rOcK ★ pOrN:.

=Jezirah

Aug 2, 2008, 1:12:14 PM

that's cool!

--
.:rOcK ★ pOrN:.

=treeworshipper

Aug 2, 2008, 1:16:03 PM

ich glaub, je mehr du dich oeffnest, desto mehr gewinn ich dich lieb. <3

--
°3° ~★*o!!

~yoookai

Aug 2, 2008, 1:39:21 PM

Yeah, It's true that all our life we are alone even other people are with us.
I think that everyone feel really small and weak sometimes even if he shows that he is really strong. Some people just want us to think like that. They are afraid to admitt that they are weak before themselves.
Alot of people that we think are strong are really scared of life.
We can't judge anybody because there is no way to know them total. Also we dont know ourselves absolutely.
And yeah, It is amazing that everyone is all different, It could be really boring and sad If we all be the same.
Every persol is really special and special is this that he can feel and think his own way. And also you are that person ^^
Even If we all are alone with ourselves the thing that cheers on us is that there are people who think similiar to us and they could understand us in some way ^^
So... maybe we are not absolutely alone? ^^

aww... and sorry for my bad english

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Journal History

Jul 14, 2009 :kiriban: (update)
Jul 6, 2009 COMMISSIONS?-closed
Jun 9, 2009 .:new photoaccount:.
Jun 2, 2009 my ass...
May 7, 2009 .:stigmata:.
Jan 31, 2009 ~featurette~
Dec 18, 2008 -> important thing to share...
Dec 16, 2008 .:667:.
Dec 8, 2008 .:how do you spend your time on x-mas?:.
Dec 6, 2008 ]s/he knows[
Nov 5, 2008 sorry guys
Oct 17, 2008 [.:0:.]
Sep 1, 2008 |well well well...|
Aug 22, 2008 .:gib mir sonne:.
Aug 21, 2008 .:HahAhAaaA:.
Aug 10, 2008 .:kiri:banG!:.
Aug 9, 2008 [CAUTION] Massive Art thievery @ gonzo-asian.com
Aug 5, 2008 .:.ö3ö.:.
Aug 2, 2008 .:some thoughts about life:.
Jul 26, 2008 .:虞:.

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~FallenDevilYamiko: Merry christmas!
Wed Dec 24, 2008, 5:07 PM
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